“Reasons That Americans Are Not Curing Cancer” will continually highlight America’s unreal and unprecedented ability to create extremely creative and entertaining “things” that ultimately add absolutely zero fucking value to society other than maybe a 1.5-second chuckle. If America found a way to harness its citizens’ enthusiastic creative energy into truly productive/important causes, rather than spend hours doing dumb shit on Twitter (guilty… btw), we’d have cured cancer by now. So wake up, America. Let’s stop wasting time on idiotic (albeit hilarious as hell) activities that might provide us 15-seconds of fame or +50 retweets on Twitter.
Actually on second thought, dudes that be spending absurd amounts of time on photoshop everyday probably shouldn’t be the ones curing cancer anyway. So just keep at it, and keep making us laugh.
Folks, #4 just might be the GOAT:
Background: The New York Knicks have made quite a few headlines in the sports world over the past month. First, the squadron added two hobbled/marquee former Chicago Bulls in Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah. Next, Phil Jackson attempted a senile version of sub-tweeting, aimed at his All-Star players playing with each other for the first time. Finally, Derrick Rose was high as shit and pretended as though the media has been labeling the Knicks as a “Super Team” and in the same league as the Golden State Warriors.
So with that in mind, peep what Fox Sports put together in an effort to poke fun at the recent developments in Knicks-land:
Are you fucking kidding me…..?
This perfectly embodies of why Americans aren’t curing cancer. We got a 30-second photoshopped video that features 18 different scenes with 37 different fucking faces. This doesn’t even count the change of expression on each of the 37 face that were photoshopped into the video.
It took us over 5 minutes just to track how many different Knicks faces were used in the video. We can’t even imagine how long it fucking took for some intern to put together that video.