Quickie: Breaking Down Trump’s Family Tree

Now that we’re two full days into the circus that is the 2016 Republican National Convention, some Americans are seeing the children of Donald Trump in action for the first time. Considering multiple members of the Trump Tribe have already spoken at the RNC, and multiple family members will be speaking tonight and tomorrow, we thought it’d be a good idea to breakdown who the fuck DonDon’s Trumpkins are and who they belong to (yes, this is only necessary because DJ Trump is on his 3rd marriage and no one knows what the fuck is good with the family tree).


DonDon’s First Marriage (1977 to 1992): Ivana Trump

If you thought Melania was DJ Trump’s first/only model wife, you’d be mistaken. Ivana, a Czech native and former fashion model, had 3 kids with Trump: Donald Jr, Eric, and Ivanka. These 3 are the oldest of Trump’s children and are the ones that have been on the campaign trail with Donald for the past +6 months. Don Jr. spoke last night, Eric is scheduled to speak tonight, and Ivanka will speak tomorrow during the RNC finale.




DonDon’s Second Marriage (1993 to 1999): Marla Maples

Apparently, Ms. Maples was some American actress back in the day. Maples’ celebrity morphed into a television personality following her marriage to DonDon. Trump and Marla had one kid: Tiffany Trump. The 22-year old spoke at the RNC last night and gave a surprisingly positive, graceful, and enlightening speech about her father. Not only is Tiffany DonDon’s second daughter, Tiff is singer, actress, and model.


DonDon’s Third Marriage (2005-Present): Melania Trump

Y’all know about Melania by now. Especially after the debacle that was her plagiarized speech, which the public didn’t exactly appreciate. Trump and Melania have 1 child: Barron. He’s 8 and probably a little fuckboi. 


Here’s a Trump family-tree from Vox that someone spent way too much fucking time making (they even got a “legend” to indicate whether or not there was a divorce that occurred!)








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