“Reasons That Americans Are Not Curing Cancer” will continually highlight America’s unreal and unprecedented ability to create extremely creative and entertaining “things” that ultimately add absolutely zero fucking value to society other than maybe a 1.5-second chuckle. If America found a way to harness its citizens’ enthusiastic creative energy into truly productive/important causes, rather than spend hours doing dumb shit on Twitter (guilty… btw), we’d have cured cancer by now. So wake up, America. Let’s stop wasting time on idiotic (albeit hilarious as hell) activities that might provide us 15-seconds of fame or +50 retweets on Twitter.
Actually on second thought, dudes that be spending absurd amounts of time on photoshop everyday probably shouldn’t be the ones curing cancer anyway. So just keep at it, and keep making us laugh.
ICYMI: Dwyane Wade left the Miami Heat and signed with the Chicago Bulls earlier this week. After spending his entire 13-season career with the Heat, Wade dipped on Pat Riley’s ass after feeling repeatedly disrespected by the contract offer that the Heat presented him with. After sacrificing financially multiple times in order to sign LeBron James, Chris Bosh, and Udonis Haslem, Wade was done being pushed over by the Miami. A 2-year/$40-million contract was a relative slap to the face to D-Wade after Riley offered Hassan Whiteside approximately $23-million per year. Keep in mind, Wade has never been the highest paid player on the Heat during his entire 13 years with the squadron.
Wade’s departure comes just 2-years after LeBron James dipped out on Miami. After winning a title for Cleveland last month, BronBron revealed that people “high up” in the Miami Heat organization told him that leaving for Cleveland would be the “biggest mistake of his career“.
So now, BFF’s LeBron James and Dwyane Wade have dipped on Pat Riley within 2 years all because they felt disrespected. With that in mind, get a load of this shit.
Not only did the homie New Tape City photoshop the faces of BronBron and D-Wade into the video of Kanye West’s “Mercy” video, but the sound was also edited to swap out the words “Def Jam Building” for “Miami” instead. NOW THAT IS SOME SERIOUS EFFORT.