“Reasons That Americans Are Not Curing Cancer” will continually highlight America’s unreal and unprecedented ability to create extremely creative and entertaining “things” that ultimately add absolutely zero fucking value to society other than maybe a 1.5-second chuckle. If America found a way to harness its citizens’ enthusiastic creative energy into truly productive/important causes, rather than spend hours doing dumb shit on Twitter (guilty… btw), we’d have cured cancer by now. So wake up, America. Let’s stop wasting time on idiotic (albeit hilarious as hell) activities that might provide us 15-seconds of fame or +50 retweets on Twitter.
Actually on second thought, dudes that be spending absurd amounts of time on photoshop everyday probably shouldn’t be the ones curing cancer anyway. So just keep at it, and keep making us laugh.
I mean…. It doesn’t get much better than that, folks. In light of easily the lowest point of Steph Curry’s professional NBA career, America decided to remind Steph and the Dubs just how badly they choked the Finals away. It’s bad enough to fail to execute. But to just lackadaisically turn a ball over with 5 minutes left in Game 7 with some ass-fuckery behind the back pass? That’s on a whole ‘nother level. Usually these elaborate displays or why Americans aren’t curing cancer frustrate me (for obvious reasons). This one however, is just too damn funny and too damn timely. I’m sure thousands of Golden State Warriors fans instantly felt the chances of another championship were being “tossed aside” with that shitty pass from Steph.
And you know it boy.
Peep our ceremonial issue of “Reasons Americans Are Not Curing Cancer” right hurr.