Unless you just awoke from some month-long peyote trip in which you were repelling down Mount Vesuvius with a pack of spider monkeys, I’m sure you’re aware that the NBA Finals are currently going down between the Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Cavaliers.
There’s a shitload of awesome narratives surrounding this Finals that can give NBA heads a straight chubster just thinking about this Cavs-Dubs matchup, which includes:
- The 2016 NBA Finals feature a rematch between the two teams that faced off in the Finals last year. This is the 14th time in NBA history that the Finals has seen a rematch in back to back years. The regining champ is a measly 6-7 in the previous 13 instances.
- The 2016 NBA Finals feature LeBron James, who is back in the Finals for the 6th straight time (a feat that hasn’t been accomplished since the 1960’s).
- The 2016 NBA Finals feature the 73-9 Golden State Warriors, who set the single-season record for games won in a regular season.
- The 2016 NBA Finals feature the back-to-back MVP, Steph Curry (Mr. Adorable).
- The 2016 NBA Finals feature the two singular “media darlings” of the NBA in the 21st century.
- The 2016 NBA finals feature a player that America, for the first time, has weirdly and overwhelmingly rallied around, Mr. Adorable.
Speaking of Steph, he’s been kinda-sorta a let down during this year’s NBA Finals. Correction, Steph has been absolutely underwhelming and a relative no-show during this year’s NBA Finals. Everybody’s favorite “cute”, “adorable”, and “likable” superstar played poorly enough in last year’s Finals that an Andre Iguodala 16.3/5.8/4.0 performance was enough to win the Finals MVP. Well, it looks like Steph has upped the anti this year.
Peep this chart, bruh, showing just how poorly Steph has performed relative to his peers, which is how he should be viewed as now that he is some anointed golden child (data provided by Basketball Reference):
Following Game 5, Steph Curry currently has the 9th lowest points per game in NBA Finals among players who won the regular season MVP during the same year same year (Peep the chart, bruh [also, sorry for not doing my econ shit as of late, I’ll be back at it.]). On top of that, Mr. Adorable has the 2nd largest points per game disparity when comparing regular season PPG and NBA Finals PPG.
Cherry on top: The media has absolutely fucking crush Kyrie Irving during this year’s NBA Finals (outside of Game 5) and sometimes rightfully so. The way people have described Irving’s perfomrance though, would make you think he was pulling some straight choke-job all series. All the while, most fuckboi’s journalists slobbering over Steph’s every movement have excused and qualified why/how Curry has been underperforming.
With that in mind, peak this gem (courtesy of ESPN).
Kyrie Irving, has more points, the same number of assists, fewer turnovers, three times as many steals and a higher shooting percentage than Stephen Curry in the NBA Finals.