John McCain, Sensei Of Shade

Primer: To “Throw Shade” means to publicly disrespect and disregard an individual or group. Throwing shade usually involves some subtle humor and references to past instances.

Ok, leggo:

I want you to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and imagine the following things happening to you:

  1. Imagine that nearly every single one of your co-workers and industry peers absolutely hated you. 
  2. Imagine that you temporarily left your current job, with hopes of attaining a better job. 
  3. Imagine that in your attempt to attain a better job, you disparaged and denigrated your co-workers and peers. 
  4. Imagine that you now have to return to your original job and work with the people that you routinely shat on, and who now hate you even more. 

Now open your eyes. That sounded like a pretty shitty situation to be stuck in, huh? Well, that just so happens to be the exact shitty situation that failed GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz finds himself in. 

Junior Senator from Texas returned to his normal place of employment earlier this month after suspending his presidential campaign. With his return, Cruz must pivot back to his role as a state senator and forget about his unbreakable desire to become CEO of the USA. Knowing that Cruz needs to put on a good face, Cruz had this to say about his return to Capitol Hill (via Vice):

“It’s great to be back in the warming embrace of Washington.”

Cruz was obviously speaking with some mild sarcasm, as he’s no dummy and is clearly aware of how his colleagues view him. Then again, you’d think Alf would at least hope DC could become a collaborative and productive environment. However according to CNN, this is what Cruz really had to say once behind closed doors:

“To be honest with you, I didn’t want to come back.” 

That’s a pretty sad sentiment, to be perfectly honest. No one wants to work at a place that doesn’t make them happy. No one wants to work with people that absolutely despise them.

Apparently, John McCain doesn’t share his empathy for Cruz’s predicament. McCain responded to Alf’s comments about not wanting to return to the Senate with the shadiest of shade ever thrown on Capitol Hill:

“We didn’t want you to, either.”



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