Monday Morning Thrones

What the fucking fuck… Is there any doubt halfway through season 6 that this has been the premier season of GoT through and through? IMO, week in and week out, GoT season 6 has continually raised the bar each episode. We’ve simply never seen a Thrones season where there is constant mind shattering drama and pivotal moments taking place each and every episode. Perhaps the ending of source material and the garnering of creative control was the best thing for showrunners Benioff & Weiss, because it’s clear that they’re bent on taking Game of Thrones to the fucking moon. Episode 5 was just the latest example, and it was perhaps the most streamlined episode of Thrones ever. Not a single stop in Kings Landing, and a fantastic ending sequence. This episode didn’t waste a second, and held everyone’s attention for the entirety. Now let’s see where we stand after a blood pumping and heart wrenching hour of GoT… Hit the fuckin’ music!

Last week in Braavos, it appeared as though Arya was well on her way to taking the next step in her training as “a girl who has no name.” While this may be true, there have never been more questions surrounding her role and comeuppance in the House of Black & White. Despite proving herself as a bling beggar, Jaqen Haggar continues to question Arya’s ulterior motives, this time testing her by giving her an assignment to assassinate an actress who stars in a cracked mirror version of GoT season 1. Jaqen is a twisted man making Arya sit through a comedic reanimation of the underlying events that undid her family. But, to truly find out if Arya is “a girl who has no name” this is the best way to do so… Will Arya continue to pursue her “list” of victims, or fully adopt the ways of the Faceless Men? (side note: I also found this sequence to be a deft way to include “Kings Landing” in last night’s ep without actually going to Kings Landing. Well done Show)

At the show’s start we were treated to find out that “Vaes Dothrak” was no longer shown in the mapping prologue credits… Which means that Daenerys is finally on her way to tear shit up in Meereen. She has at last learned of Ser Jorah’s greyscale infliction, and Emilia Clarke was able to flex her sadness range of emotions for the first time on screen. It was a welcome sight of actorial showmanship for her character who is typically portraying either anger, confusion or grief… But I digress. Jorah has been rejuvenated to toss his suicide plans away and search for a cure. Good luck big homie, because to our knowledge the only cure was found by Stannis Baratheon for his daughter Shireen which came by way of scouring the lands far and wide to ultimately bring in some voodoo priests to stop the spread of the disease. But something tells me he will be successful in his travails.

As for Tyrion and Varys, things do not appear to be as cut and dry. Leadership and diplomacy issues have been much more enjoyable under the specter of Tyrion in Meereen. At least he has a fucking idea of what to do. But, bringing in a red priestess who seems even more bat-shit crazy than Melissendre doesn’t seem like his best decision ever. This “Red Woman” appears much more hostile and unpredictable. I’m sure Varys would agree… imgres

Sure, in the short term having the supporters of R’Hllor preach the virtues of the Mother of Dragons in the streets of Meereen will be a win, but how will Dany feel about their support? And when things inevitably turn up a notch, how is that dynamic going to play into things? I just hope it doesn’t keep her stacked army of Unsullied and Dothraki bogged down much longer.

Probably my only gripe with “The Door” came during the Kingsmoot on the Iron Islands. Predictably, yet anticlimactically, Euron Greyjoy (I guess I should drop the Crow’s Eye because his eye seems to be fine..?)


not only assumed the helm of King, but admitted his murdering of Balon in the process. The result? He literally received more support like he was threatening to shoot civilians on 5th ave at a Trump rally. All in all, the Kingsmoot was sadly abbreviated, occurred during the day, contained none of Euron’s “silenced” crew members, and made the Iron Islands seem like they’re a group of no more than 100 people. While Yara and Theon’s escape will make for good drama moving forward, I wish the showrunners could’ve illuminated the Iron Islands culture a little better here.

At The Wall, Ser Davos has resumed his role as chief of staff to begin preparations for the Battle of Winterfell. The first order? Securing more troops. Jon has embarked to gather support from pro-Stark families still around to pledge fealty. While Sansa has tasked Brienne to make contact with her confirmed alive uncle, the Blackfish, in Riverrun to gain Tully support. Expect Brienne to make contact with someone who should push the plot in an interesting direction, as we outlined last week.… And chalk up another win for Sansa! She’s really turning into a badass recently, as she turned down Lord Baelish’s undoubtedly conniving attempt to offer the Knights of the Vale to their effort against the Boltons. It appears she has learned that being indebted to Baelish is no position to be in, at least for now…

And so our recap brings us to the sequence that haunted everyone’s dreams last night and has made us question our love for Bran…

WTF was that inception level shit Bran just pulled?

That was a doozy. And somehow that was best sequence of season 6. The same season that has given us Jon Snow’s resuscitation and Dany’s fireworks show. To start things off, everyone’s suspicions of Bran’s affect on the past and present were confirmed to be true. Unknowing of just how powerful he is, Bran’s curiosity allows the Night’s King to gain entry into the layer of the Three Eyed Raven (don’t you hate teenagers and their curious ways?). In an attempt to expedite his training, the Raven takes Bran on an Inception level time travel to what has so far been the most pivotal history building moment in GoT history. Props to this guy… Who predicted the meaning of “Hodor” all the way back in 2008!


In what was another edition of “everything in Game of Thrones has meaning” big homie George RR Martin somehow made a bumbling nitwit who says “Hodor” exclusively = “Hold the door.” What a world class mind fucking… I’m kinda happy I got to watch that unfold on screen for the first time instead of on paper.

So let’s try to make sense of all that. Even though everyone and their mother assumed that “Wyllis” became “Hodor” because he was kicked in the head by a mule or something else along those lines, what actually was the cause was much more intrinsically valuable. Wyllis became Hodor because decades in the future he would be needed to salvage Bran’s life. The interplay of Bran’s voodoo time travelling magic, combined with Meera Reed’s pleas for Hodor to “HOLD THE DOOR!” sent ripples back in time until they swallowed Wyllis into an epileptic fit creating the individual we came to love as “Hodor.” What viewers got was a Dead Pool-esque cross-play between an origin story and the realization that Hodor’s entire life was meant to be fulfilled during that one sequence where he allows Bran and Meera to escape from the Walkers. Nights like yesterday are exactly why Game of Thrones will forever lay claim as one of the greatest shows of all time.

CJ from Patchogue asks: “Wait, so how does Bran take the Three Eyed Raven’s place if he’s leaving it?”

GoT “the show” has run beyond source material here. My best surmise is that when Max von Sydow proclaims to Bran that he must become him, he means this as a euphemism in the sense that Bran must take on the responsibilities of being the most powerful magic wielding individual in the realm.

How this will be done remains to be seen, as Bran and Meera will no longer have access to the Raven’s weirwood tree (the source of Bran’s greenseeing power). Somehow Bran and Meera will either have to a) find some more weirwood trees to hit up or b) find an alternative way to see into the past (which isn’t outlandish given Bran’s showcased abilities). As the NFN has predicted in the past, it appears that viewers will have to wait a little while longer for any more Tower of Joy flashbacks.

Where will Theon and Yara go?

My best guess is that they’re on their way to make contact with the Mother of Dragons before Euron has the opportunity to do so. Remember, at the Kingsmoot one of Euron’s platforms that he was running on was to conquer the world by wedding Daenerys in exchange for the Ironborn’s ships. Not a bad plan, as we’ve seen Dany make similar deals in the past (i.e. Hizdahr zo Loraq). After they realized their claim to the Ironborn Throne was futile, they capitalized on Euron’s crowning to seize the best ships of Pyke and set sail. TBH, the only reasonable destination for Theon and Yara is Meereen. They do not have any supporters in Westeros, and stealing Euron’s plan for world domination isn’t a bad idea. They have the ships, the bargaining chips and Theon..?!?! Are we ready to adopt #Theon4Dany2016 as an official slogan???



P.S. Thanks to y’all for baring with me on this early afternoon post. I hope this gives you all something to munch on with your brains during lunch. FWIW, all these thoughts are my immediate reactions to last night’s episode when I wake up in the morning… Thanks for supporting me on this ride.


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