Charts, Bruh: DC Sports Fans Are Stuck In Perennial Purgatory

Peep this chart, bruh: 



Damn, son. This shit is a shocker. If I had to bet my life on it, I would have guessed that either Cleveland’s or Atlanta’s pro sports teams had the fewest conference finals appearances this century. As shitty as each city’s sports franchises have been as of life, I knew that between the Hawks, Braves, and Cavaliers, each city had at least 1 or 2 conference final appearances. Which led me to believe that no city with at least 3 major pro franchises had a big ole goose-egg (zero) in terms of conference finals appearances……..




The District of Columbia holds the terrible title of: The 21st Century’s Most Unsuccessful Sports Town in the United States (/ a few Canadian cities). 

Somehow, between the Redskins, Capitals, Wizards, and Nationals (/Expos), Washington DC has failed to produce a single team good enough to reach the “final four”. From a Knicks, Mets, and Cowboys fan… who’s backside is raw as hell after bending over to my teams’ ineptitude, I can’t imagine how DC sports fans must feel. Want to know the cherries on top of DC’s sports misery? The Capitals have had one of the best hockey players of all time for 10 years, the Redskins have dished out YUGE sums of money for marquee free agents, and, well, Dan Snyder is a humongous douchebag (I mean, Snyder makes Jerry Jones and the Wilpons seem relatively upstanding). DC sports fans are basically the Gimp stuck in Zed and Maynard’s torture-basement. If I were a DC sports fan, I’m not sure how much longer I could hold on. I might just throw in the towel after this year if Bryce Harper doesn’t go full-Butch and samurai the shit out of teams on the way to the NLCS. 




PS: Peep the breakdown of each individual teams’ success in each city. As I’m sure you noticed, the chart kinda-arbitraily merges the Rangers, Giants, Knicks, and Yankees into one version of New York and the Islanders, Jets, Nets, and Mets into another version of New York. Basically the main takeaway is, Boston sports fans that are 35 and under have been lucky as fuck. 






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