We bring you this special “Tuesday Morning Thrones’ edition in the wake of an absolutely LIT episode of Game of fucking Thrones last Sunday. There’s a lot to review and preview for the season moving forward, so a second day was necessary for digestion purposes. So, let. Us. Go. CUE THE FUCKING MUSIC!
At The Wall, it looks as though our earlier predictions were proven true this week. In what has been a strangely and surprisingly heartfelt season for Thrones, viewers received another heartwarming encounter as Sansa completed her long journey to Castle Black to reunite with Jon. The dynamic here was compelling in the sense that Sansa and Jon were siblings, but they were siblings in the loosest iteration of the term. It was quite endearing for these two to put aside their past childhood bickering to appreciate the presence of one another. Oh, and the fact that they’re about to rain a shit storm on the Bolton Army adds a lot to this reunion as well.
Like we have previously noted, the “Bastard Bowl” appears to be imminent after Ramsay sent a letter very reminiscent of the notorious “pink letter” to Jon. In Winterfell, Osha has met an expected demise, but Rickon appears safe (for now). With Jon’s Wildling army of 2,000 able bodied warriors, they have decided to wage war despite their unfavorable odds… But will they remain unfavorable?
Perhaps they won’t be for long, as Lord Petyr Baelish has made his anticipated return to the Westeros scene by returning to the Vale. Utilizing his patented maniacal ways, he convinces Robyn Arryn to send the Army of the Vale to aid Sansa and Jon’s quest to retake Winterfell. It is unknown just how many soldiers they possess, but already you can see the tides changing.
What are the early odds for this battle? My inital thoughts are on Team Jon/Sansa at +200… But when you consider that they now have a Wildling Army, a certified Westerosi Army, a dude who was just brought back from the dead and a fucking Giant, they probably belong somewhere around -1000.
Sunday’s episode of Keeping Up With the Lannisters was again filled with little action, but intense and important dialogue. Cersei may have just caught her break. By appealing to the familial ties of the Small Council. She has convinced Lady Olenna to send the Tyrell army into King’s Landing to wipe out the sparrows and bring her own children and Lancel Lannister home. This appears like a win for Cersei at first glance, but there’s a lot of risk here as well that we will cover later on.
On The Iron Islands, Theon has returned to a not so warm welcome. Understandably, Yara was skeptical of his rather opportunistic return home following the death of their father. However, Theon expressed his distaste for ruling, opting instead to back his sister for the upcoming Kingsmoot. This throws an interesting wrench in the proceeding events to come as Theon was not present for the Kingsmoot in the Books. What kind of affect can he have on the outcome?
And so this recap brings us to the story everyone’s been talking about… Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the first of her name, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and the Protector of the Realm, the Unburnt, the Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, Queen of MEereen and Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea GOT FUCKING GULLY.
The No Filter Network had been clamoring for some time now that Dany’s season 6 character arc needed to be expedited, and WOW did the Show respond. Dany is all about making fucking statements, and she hadn’t made one in some time. She basically pulled a Jordan Belfort and told all the Khal’s that she “wasn’t fuckin leavin'” and then proceeded to burn them to death, take over their tribes, and flash her natural bosoms for all the world to see.
Is this her turning point? Will she finally take care of the shit storm that is Meereen and make her way westward? I can’t really picture anything else getting in her way… She may have some divisive opinion on Tyrion’s handling of the city in her absence, but other than gathering some fucking ships and deciding to set sail, it’s time to claim that fucking throne!
So we know that the Tyrell’s will be bringing their army into King’s Landing with the aim of wiping out the Sparrows, but could there be unforeseen consequences?
You’re fucking right there could be. Does anyone recall the last time an army was permitted to enter the Kings Landing walls unencumbered..? It was during Robert’s Rebellion when Tywin Lannister rode the Lannister Army through the walls to join up with their “friends” the Targaryens. What happened was a raping and pillaging that hasn’t been seen since the fucking Mongols. We already know that the Tyrell army is the “second biggest army in Westeros,” (side note: by process of elimination it appears that would leave The Vale with the largest army!) I’m not saying that there will be more Lannister pain to come, but I’m not not saying that…
Tyrion got his Woodrow Wilson on last episode, how will Dany react to that?
Tyrion’s diplomatic abilities had taken a backseat lately, but it was back in full Woodrow Wilson mode Sunday night. IMHO, Dany will embrace the decision wholeheartedly, at first… Last season she accepted Tyrion, but their track record together never really got off the ground, you know, since she went dragon riding and all. I refuse to believe that the Son’s of the Harpy story line is just going to be resolved that easily, so it seems very likely that there will be some skirmish to spark Dany’s hate fire again that will lead her to completely annihilate all of the masters.
Soooo uh, Dany’s entire fleet was destroyed, where the fuck are they gonna get ships?
WARNING, HOT TAKE ALERT: Dany’s massive army of unsullied and recently acquired Dothraki may have no ships to take them westward, but you know who has a buttload of them? The Iron Islands and Dorne! And since I’m completely out on the Dorne plot line, and I have no confidence in the leadership of the Ellaria Sand Regime, the Iron Islands seem like the best bet for Dany. I have no idea how this scolding hot take could play out for a few reasons (1. The show has yet to introduce, or has combined, one of the most badass mofos in the Books, Victarion Greyjoy and 2. We don’y yet know who will be named King of the Iron Isles), but the signs are there that these two forces could be linking up in some fashion.
Can we expect anyone else to join Team Jon/Sansa?
Although they are currently unaware, viewers know that the Vale has “joined the fray.” As far as further potential supporters, the list is short. Typical Stark bannermen such as the Karstarks and the Umbers have already pledged fealty to the Boltons. But there is still the Tully’s of Riverrun, whom you may remember as the family of Catelyn Stark, Edmure Tully and the Blackfish. Could they raise their banners in support? Well, there is speculation that Edmure and the Blackfish will be returning to the Show this season…
What is Little Finger’s end game?
Honestly, who the fuck knows. This man is a wildcard in the Charlie Kelly sense…
In other words, when shit pops off, it’s usually Baelish pulling the strings behind the scenes. What we do know about Little Finger is that although he is ambitious, he appears to prefer to command things from afar. He desires to be the decision maker behind the proverbial figurehead where he wields all the power, but carries none of the risk. For now, it appears that’s exactly what he will be doing behind Robyn Arryn. His next move, however, is anyone’s guess.