Ok, we have less than 20-minutes until the release of Season 6 Episode 2 of Game of Thrones (FUCKING GAME OF THRONES). Here’s some rapid fire thoughts from ya boy tackling last week’s Game of Thrones Season 6 premier and what it might mean going forward.
Warning: Ya boy is a hardbody book-reader. I’m not going to go HAM on any material that’s been included in the books that hasn’t been depicted in the show yet, but please note some things may slip through the cracks. Obviously, everything said will be for people 100% caught up on the show.
#1. Word, Myrcella is fucking dead as a doorknob. (Moment of silence for the only Lannister that didn’t partake in any form of murder/incest/hooker-beating/power-moves). I’m kind of butthurt that this happened because it hasn’t been depicted in the show. Additionally, I’m not sure how the hell the books will get to Myrcella getting murdered considering Jamie is hundreds of miles away from Dorne at the end of Book 5. Without Jamie infiltrating Dorne, and pissing everyone off, I’m not sure how Myrcella ends up dying.
Despite my semi-butthurt disappointment about the death of Jamie and Cersei’s second child, I’ve kind of got a half-chubster about what it means for Jamie. Based on the intense and moving conversation that took place between the sibling-lovers during Episode 1 of Season 6, it looks like we may see a more vengeful, cynical, and aggressive Jamie Lannister than we have in a long time. Listen, I love Jamie. I also understand that a main part of my empathy and overall appreciation for Jamie’s character is rooted in his initial acts of heroism and selflessness regarding Brienne. That said, now that I am part of Team Jamie, I want to see this BAMF go HAM and fuck some people up for killing his innocent daughter.
#2. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Sansa Stark. Holla atcha gurrrl Sansa for being in legitimate safe hands for the first time since Season 1 when the honorable and super-sexy Ned Stark (her father) was still alive. To be honest, if the show-runners of Game of Thrones had Sansa and Theon get re-captured by Ramsay and his fuckboi sociopaths, I probably would have destroyed my TV from throwing my chalice of wine in anger. (Yes, I drink a big-ass chalice of bad-ass red wine for Game of Thrones every Sunday night). If I know anything about George RR Martin, and those HBO fuckbois, I have a feeling Sansa sadly won’t be safe for too long.
#3 (DEFINITELY BOOK ORIENTED).
What the fuck is good in Dorne!? In case you were unaware, the Dorne storyline is probably the biggest deviation from the original source material that we’ve seen in the television series so far. Not to go too far into it, but the show-runners have already not shown 2 key Martell characters that have had relatively significant roles in the books. Additionally, the Prince of Dorne is a way bigger badass than he is portrayed as in the show. The Prince of Dorne is intelligently scheming in the background at all times, playing the true “game of thrones” that the real nerds love. `Also, it’s pretty clear that the show-runners are totally overcompensating for the fact that they portrayed the Sand Snakes so fucking poorly and lamely in Season 5. Despite how badass they actually are in the books, it’s a total reach to have them be part of a mass-overthrow of a government and run an entire country.
#4) We got in our tittie quota with Melissandre giving us a nice shot of those breast-puppies at the end of Episode 1. Fantastic stuff all around, to be frank.
#5) I’m freaking total 100%-boner about the fact that Davos is presiding over Jon Snow’s body. If there’s anyone that’s going to ensure Jon stays safe enough to be resurrected at some point, it’s Davos.
#6) GIVE ME THE IRON ISLANDS STORYLINE.
WE OUT HERE.