Happy Mothers Day, From Eli Apple’s Momma

Get a load of this shit. 

In case you just hopped out the DeLorean, the NFL Draft has been transformed over the past decade into some weird glorified episode of “The Bachelor” / a 5-hour long live-meat auction. “NFL prospects” (most of whom are under the age of 22) are trotted out on live television for our personal enjoyment, as they either get drafted by a terrible organization that they dread (Eli Manning), or they get passed-on by team after team (Aaron Rodgers) as they’re utterly humiliated. In the rare circumstance, the NFL Draft can even turn into a full-blown episode of “Weeds” meets “Mr Robot” (Laremy Tunsil). Hell, the “normal” NFL prospects these days are now wearing freaking crop-top oxford shirts. We might as well be watching “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”.

 

ezekielelliottcroptop.jpg

 

As it turns out though, someone involved in the 2016 NFL Draft saw through the dog-and-pony-show that is the Draft, and called some people out. Hardbody.

Enter: Annie Apple, mother of star collegiate cornerback Eli Apple. Annie Apple basically took the No Filter Network approach and brought that heat while spitting that real. Peep what Ms. Apple had to say about the NFL Draft this past weekend on Twitter: 

 

 

Not sure what part of this Tweet is better: the fact that Ms. Apple called out all the money-grubbing, thirsty hoes that her son would most likely encounter in the next few weeks, or the fact that Ms. Apple used the name “Jesus” in the same sentence as the term “quench your thirst”? 

 

EliAppleMom.jpg

 

I think I might have to go with the Jesus and thirst quenching answer. All I’m going to say is that it looks like Ms. Apple might be participating in some of the same things that them “thirsty girls” are doing, based on the picture above. The only thing to really say to that is:

 

#WATTBA

 

 

 

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