Trump Campaign Adds A New Ninja-Advisor

The Trump Campaign added a new senior advisor to The Donald’s presidential campaign earlier this week. Paul Manafort, the newest addition to Team Trump, has been hired to implement an “image makeover” plan as the election season is inches closer and closer to the GOP Convention. Now that it seems pretty clear that The Donald will reach the required 1,237 dellies to win the Republican nomination, his campaign needs to shift it’s strategy and start appealing to the masses. It’s time to buckle up, dig deep, and kinda-sorta-maybe pretend that Trump can be presidential, respectable, and ummmm polite.

I’m sure you’re wondering, “how do you perform an ‘image makeover’ on a candidate that has insulted the Pope, categorized an entire demographic as rapists, and confuse September 11th with the convenience store 7-11”? 

I’ll tell ya how. You hire a god damn Ninja-Advisor. 

Paul Manafort.png


As we’ve covered, Donald Trumps current campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, is an inexperienced buffoon. As for Paul Manafort… well, I think it’s fair to say that Paulie has been around the block in terms of political experience. 

Manafort has been an advisor on the staff of multiple US President’s political campaigns, including Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush. Manafort was also the deputy political director at the RNC for 2 years in the late 1970’s.  The dude has helped presidential candidates win general elections and has experienced dealing with the political elite for 3+ decades. Manafort is skilled, efficient, and effective. But what makes him stand out as a true political-ninja? The dude is straight up down to do work in even the most intense and difficult circumstances.

That truth is already evident given the fact that Manafort has decided to join Trump’s campaign, a campaign featuring one of the most disliked presidential candidates in the history of the United States (along with Hillary, for what it’s worth), a campaign that is most likely to face a contested convention from the GOP in July. But guess what Paulie was up to in the political world most recently?

Manafort has spent much of the past decade worker for former President of Ukraine, Viktor Yanukovych. Yanukovych notoriously fled the country in 2014 as tension between “his” country and Russia escalated. However before Yanukovych became a vilified national disgrace, he won an important election in 2010 thanks in part to the image-control that Manafort implemented on the campaign. I mean, if Paulie-boy could get this piece of shit elected, I can’t imagine the wonders he might do with The Donald.

Here’s a crazy excerpt from the Charlotte Observer regarding Manafort’s “image makeover” skills:

“Yanukovych did undergo an “image makeover” strikingly similar to the one that Trump needs right now. Yanukovych was an ex-con, close to Russian-backed business interests in Ukraine. But he cleaned up his act, stopped using criminal jargon and presented himself as a “reform” candidate. Since everybody was sick of the crooked establishment, he won – even though he was no more honest than the people he’d said he was trying to beat.

Yanukovych also became famous for using rented thugs, known as “titushki,” who intimidated opposition protestors, journalists, or whoever needed to be scared off.”


That’s some crazy shit, folks.

Is it me, or do these political tactics sound like some of the shit that the Trump Campaign has already tried to employ during this election season? Maybe Manafort’s been feeding Lewandowski strategy tips under the table for months. If Manafort hasn’t actually been involved with the Trump Campaign until now, I can’t imagine what kind of political gorilla-warfare he’s going to break out of his arsenal going forward.


2016 has featured one of the craziest presidential election cycles in the history of America…. and we have yet to even get to the dirty Russian Mafia tactics yet! 


Funny Trump Meme.jpg





One thought on “Trump Campaign Adds A New Ninja-Advisor

  1. Pingback: Another Malfunction On The Trump Train | NO FILTER NETWORK

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s