They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unfortunately for New Yorkers, The Big Apple will be unable to keep the likes of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton away from the presidential primary ballots today.
New Yorkers, Republican and Democratic voters alike, will take to the voting booths today to cast their vote in the NY Presidential Primaries. Today marks the first presidential primary in 14 days for the 3 remaining Republican candidates (when people actually vote) and 10 days for the “2” remaining Democrat candidates. Here’s a quick recap of where we left off last time we were talking dellies (dellies = delegates, and I’m only going to remind you a few more times. Also, my nicknames will improve with time ala “long-ass rice”):
As for dem Dems: The Brooklyn Brawler is riding a solid winning streak and has won the past 2 state primaries (Wyoming and Wisconsin) with a +55% vote. However, simply reading only those stats are almost like reading an NBA box score and just relying on Points, Rebounds, and Assists to dictate your opinion of a player’s performance. We know nowadays that there are advanced metrics that are able to give us more insight into a certain baller’s efficiency and true contributions to a team. Likewise, in 2016 we are able to read past the headline that Bernie Sanders has won 8 of the last 9 Democratic Primaries. Basically, “WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY”:
Despite Bernie’s recent state victories, The Brooklyn Brawler’s W’s haven’t necessarily translated to him closing the gap vs. The Hilldabeast in terms of the delegate count. Let’s take the last 2 Democratic primaries for instance: Wisconsin and Wyoming. As we mentioned, Bernie won both states by an approx 10% margin. In terms of the real scoreboard however, Sanders only earned a total of 55 dellies vs Clinton’s 45 delicatessens (too far? Nah.) With all of the Super Delegates that Clinton currently has (see below), Bernie would need to start to win states at a margin of +65%, starting with NY. Fat chance, son. (By the way, we’ll tackle the complete ass-fuckery that is a Super delegate soon).
At the end of the day, this is basically make or break time for Bernie Sanders. The New York Democratic Presidential Primary carries a whopping 247(!) delegates (vs only 95 dellies for the Republican Primary). With so many delegates up for grabs, this is a rare opportunity for the Sanders Campaign to slim down the Clinton Campaign’s lead in one fell swoop. As for The Hilldabeast, well, she’s salivating at the idea of a runaway victory in New York today. If Hillary can finish up tonight with a strong victory in The Big Apple, she could pretty much guarantee herself the nomination.
Our prediction for what will go down tonight: Hillary will win New York with a +8% margin over Bernie Sanders. In an ironic turn of events, the Democratic voters will turn out for the candidate that is not a New Yorker and is also under FBI Investigation, as opposed to a born-and-raised New Yorker with a corruption-free resume. #WATTBA.