LeBron James Is Thirsty (and not just for championships)

Yo: LeBron James is thirsty as fuck. 

When I say “thirsty” in reference to LeBron, I am not referring to LeBron’s desire and figurative hunger for NBA glory. When I say “LeBron James is thirsty as fuck”, I don’t mean that he is dying to bring the first professional athletics championship to the city of Cleveland in 50 years. No, when I say that LeBron is “thirsty”, I mean, he’s THIRSTY.

Here’s a quick Webster’s Urban Dictionary definition of what “Thirsty” really means:

Thirsty Definition 1.png

Thirsty Definition 2.png


Now that you are fully comprehending the true and utter thirst of LeBron I am referring to, we can proceed. (FYI: all info other than our hot-ass takes are via BarstoolSports.com)

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, because SportsCenter sucks LeBron’s dick and will do anything to inflate his ego and perceived status, LeBron likes to go into “social media hibernation” when the playoffs are approaching. This technique initially emerged after the Miami Heat collapse against the Dallas Mavericks in the 2010 NBA Finals when LeBron refused to post-up 5’5 J.J. Barea. LeBron is such a god damn douche, that he refers to his own social media hibernation as “Zero Dark 23” (As opposed to the movie title “Zero Dark 30”, LeBron replaces the “30” with his number “23”). I know… what a tool.

Anyway, it seems that LeBron may not be abiding by his “Zero Douche 69” rule this season. A friend/follower of BarstoolSports.com sent them the following screenshots of LeBron James trying to slide into her DM’s. To say that LeBron is thirsty, would be an understatement.


But wait, we have a Shayamalanian twist:



There’s really nothing more to say. I’ll be interested to see if ESPN and the mainstream media picks this one up. Because lord knows it’s HOT. 

And you know it boy.




One thought on “LeBron James Is Thirsty (and not just for championships)

  1. Pingback: Troll-Game Proper | NO FILTER NETWORK

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