Gypsies Are On The Loose In The NBA

You might be asking yourself “what the fuck is an NBA gypsy?”  Truth be told, an exact definition can’t be provided.  But just like SCOTUS Justice Potter Stewart, I know a gypsy when I see one!  Generally said gypsies exhibit sneaky behavior on the hardwood, whether it be through wardrobe or peskiness.  They are typically foreign, though not exclusively.  The type of dude to pressure an inbound pass after a make and flail every time they make a ridiculous attempt at a charge.  And of course, they love to take the easiest points off of a teammate’s coattails.

But don’t take it from me, take it from the NBA’s top gypsies.  Here’s a definitive ranking:

6) Marcelo Huertas: A newcomer to the gypsy ways, yet nonetheless prolific in its application.  Huertas should be a mainstay on this less for years to come.  That is, if he’s even in the NBA next season.

 

5) Steve Blake: This dude has been living the gypsy life low key for years, and I won’t have it anymore!  His work must be admonished.  Truth be told, I have no idea how Blake is still in the league.  Seems like he’s been a third string point guard for a decade, but here we are.  I mean, if he can keep draining wide open corner 3s and bare knuckle brawl dudes there will always be a niche for him in the gypsy lifestyle.  (side note: this is the greatest literary work of our generation)

4) Matthew “Delly” Dellavedova: Delly is 1000% a guy that you love when he is on your time, and absolutely vilified when he is not.  The only reason this dude is in the association is because he was fortunate enough to catch some shade under Lebron’s shadow.  Whether it’s hitting fortuitous buckets, flopping or playing dirty, it is clear the gypsy lifestyle suits Delly rather well.

 

3) Jose Calderon: His gypsy ways have only recently received fanfare because of his move to New York, but Jose has had the gypsy blood his entire life.  He’s a classic guy who projects intensity by flailing his arms intensely, but is otherwise a siv.  His entire value rests on hitting wide open mid-range jumpers, like 3 times a game.  Nice!  His accent doesn’t help his gypsy-ness either.

2) Pablo Prigioni: God bless this man.  The original GOAT for NBA gypsies.  His inbound steals are a perfected art.  He has the body of a 50 year old man who is way too into cycling.  He passes up open 3s, despite be able to shoot well and he pesters point guards, despite being essentially incapable defensively.  But goddammit, can he steal in-bounds passes.  Never change, Pablo, never change.

 

1) Sasha “The Gypsy” Vujacic: Never in the history of mankind has an individual become so synonymous with the way of the gypsy.  Sasha is, and always will be, Chief Gypsy.

Does his hair makes him look like an Al Pacino Halloween costume gone wrong?

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Check.

Does he have an irrational confidence for shooting 3s that simply cannot be explained?

Check.

Did he nickname himself “The Machine” for no apparent reason? 

Check.

Does he play embarrassingly bad defense?

Check.

Is he a punching bag for the entire league?

Check. Check. Check.

I present you with the GOAT of NBA gypsies.

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