Matt Harvey, Sexual Savage

Matt Harvey is a good old-fashioned sexual savage. 

ICYMI: The New York Mets managed to create another PR fiasco last week. Now take a wild fucking guess which Met player was the center of the controversy? DING DING DING: Matt Harvey.

The Mets disclosed in the most ridiculously non-transparent and stupid way that The Dark
Knight might miss his opening start due to an “undisclosed” and “non-throwing arm” Matt Harvey Sexyrelated injury….. Seriously? Are you kidding me? Are you trying to scream to the NY media that Matt Harvey just went to rehab for a coke addiction? Are you trying to scream to the NY media that Matt Harvey did something really dumb? How can you be so stupid!?

The Mets eventually realized after 24 hours that speaking in vague mysteries is probably the worst thing to do from a public relations standpoint. So finally, the Metropolitans woke the fuck up and informed the public that the undisclosed injury was blood clots in his bladder due to an infection. Mets fans everywhere breathed a sign of relief while the media poked fun at the entire situation.

Except everyone’s missing the key point here:

Bladder blood clots usually come from urinary tract infections. And urinary tract infections usually come from having a shitload of sex and not being super hygienic (not peeing and cleaning adequately). Basically, Matt Harvey was just fucking multiple chicks either one after the other consecutively, day after day, or all at the same time. 

Regardless, the most important fact to come out of this story is the fact that Matt Harvey fucks mad bitches

Matt Harvey brings the heat on the mound and in the bedroom. 


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One thought on “Matt Harvey, Sexual Savage

  1. Pingback: The NY Post Has a Matt Harvey Fetish | NO FILTER NETWORK

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