Wait: Breanna Stewart, UConn Star, Is White?

Yo! Did you know Breanna Stewart was white? 

Breanna Stewart UCONNN


If you are like 99% of every other American, you probably don’t give a shit about Women’s College Basketball. However, even the most misogynistic, women-hating asshole sports fans know that UConn’s Women’s Basketball team is one of the most dominant and winning programs in the history of college athletics. UConn’s ladies usually run through their regular season without more than 1 or 2 losses a season (36-0 this season). As they dominate game after game, the UConn ladies also tend to bring the fucking ruckus against even the best teams (40.3-point margin of victory this season).

And with UConn’s year-after-year domination, the squad usually has a transcendent talent that straight up eviscerates her competition. This year, it’s Senior Breanna Stewart. Stewart averaged 19 points, 8 boards, and 4 assists this year.

Here’s the thing… I thought Breanna Stewart was black this whole season (SHE’S WHITE, by the way). Don’t ask me why. I just thought she was based on her name and overall dominance (yes, I know Breanna is not just a white/black name). But I don’t know man, I was just picturing like Maya Moore balling out every time I heard her name here or there. 

Does that make me a racist? No, it just means I don’t give a shit about women’s basketball. 

And you know it boy.

Clayton Bigsby


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