Ladies and Gentlemen, the mainstream media and journalism as a whole has officially jumped the fucking shark. 2016 is now the year in which major publications intensely reported on how Adam LaRoche basically threw a bitch-fit and quit his job because he couldn’t bring his son to his workplace… every single day….
Yes. Jumping The Shark sounds just about right in this situation.
ICYMI, news broke earlier this week that shitty and old 36-year old first baseman who announced he was retiring and forgoing his $13MM annual salary. Even upon taking this news at face value, my instant reaction was that this dumb fuck was hustlin’ backwards (taking voluntary steps to screw themselves in any form or fashion).
But the fact that LaRoche is giving up $13MM because his company/employer doesn’t think that his 14-tear old son should be allowed in the clubhouse every single day? GTFO HERE WITH THAT NOISE SON.
This freaking LaDouche guy… I mean, he’s making $13MM a year to basically sit on his ass in a dugout while also hitting for a horrendous .207 (his BA last year). You’re telling me that you can’t find some type of god damn compromise to have your kid at work 30% of the time or something so you can add $13 MILLION to your bank account. That’s some crazy shit man. If you actually gave a shit about your son, you should be doing everything you can to earn an undeserved $13MM you’re set to make in the last year before retirement.
Seriously, do you think this pre-pubescent fuckboi is going to care more about this, or his dad’s extra $13MM? Maybe right now the kid would prefer to be with “pops” in an MLB locker room than his dad stack that paper. But that’s just because this kid is still naive and doesn’t understand how the world works. While LaRoche has SOMEHOW earned over $70MM throughout his career, the $13MM would represent over 15% of career earnings. Once again, GTFO HERE WITH THAT NOISE SON.
More news keeps rolling out, and we’ll be sure to keep you updated with all the ridiculous, shenanigans going down in the Chicago White Sox organization as Adam LaDouche hustles the fuck backwards.
Listen, I love dads. Dads are the shit. If it was up to me, everyone would have two dads and society would operate in perfect harmony. But being a dad doesn’t exceed being $13MM richer!
And you know it boy.