Yo son, I hate when I see dogs walking around the city in raincoats and little boots. It really fucking grinds my gears. Dogs are beautiful as hell and don’t need no Burberry bullshit to spruce them the fuck up. Also, dogs have this thing called fur. This thing called fur has a tendency to keep dogs warm. With these key facts regarding the beauty and physical attributes of the K-9, it is clear that you’re just being a douchebag if you dress your dog up in clothes. But here’s the thing…
DRESSING UP ALLIGATORS IS A WHOLE ‘NOTHER STORY (in the best possible way).
WHAMMMMMY. Meet Rambo, the Human Alligator (or Alligator Human?)
According to Mashable, Rambo the Alligator resides in Florida and currently does the following badass / ‘Merican things:
- Rides Motorcycles
- Wears Cool Clothes
- Has His Own Room
Unfortunately for Rambo and his owner Mary Thorn (the hottie pictured above), this perfect and totally normal circumstance may be coming to an end. Due to laws in Florida, gators that have a length of +6-feet need to live on a property of at least 2 acres. Mary
Thorn(y) does not have the necessary acreage to accommodate Rambo’s newfound length.
Thorn(y) on her Facebook page, where she has shared her heartfelt message with the world.