March 15th Primary-Palooza: GOP Edition

Tonight’s the night…

Contrary to what the fuckface pundits on television have been telling you for all of 2016, TONIGHT (March 15th) IS THE REAL SUPER TUESDAY (not March 8th).

You’re probably thinking something like: Oh Nick From NY, how can this possibly be? My panties are in a bunch because you’re contradicting what the media has been saying for half a century?

Don’t you worry, sweet thang. I’ma break it down for you real quick right hur:

So March 15th is the REAL SUPER TUESDAY for 2 very simple reasons: Florida and Ohio.

Not only do Florida and Ohio hold a shit-ton of delegates (99 and 66 respectively), but they are also known as major swing states. Swing states are states that tend to vote relatively moderately and usually tend to have a major effect on the general election. Ultimately if the general election is close, the voters in states such as Florida and Ohio can “swing” the results in a certain direction. The primaries tonight will give a solid indication imgresof the way swing state voters are leaning.

Also of significant importance: Florida and Ohio are the home-states of Marco Rubio and John Kasich. Rubio and Kasich are not only the 2 candidates of the reamining 4 GOPers that are on their deathbed, but also the 2 candidates that represent the last hope of the Republican Establishment. There’s a good chance that Kasich can win Ohio. The voters in the Buckeye State love their governor and he has put forth a strong-ass ground-game throughout the region. Rubio, on the other hand is a whole ‘nother story bra.

As we covered, Poor Little Marco is on the ropes and about to receive a serious 1-2 knockout blow to the domepiece. This can be attributed to both poor performances and shitty campaign strategies. Bet the house on Trump taking Florida with ease. Want more? If it’s gun to the head, I wouldn’t be surprised if either Cruz or Kasich even beat Rubio in Florida.

Tea-Party and Trump voters view him as an Establishment traitor. Many establishment voters see him as a bumbling robot that short-circuited (shit the bed). Marco Rubio, this is all we have to say to you: 


Ok, enough with sucking the hell up to the great states of Florida and Ohio. Tonight’s REAL SUPER TUESDAY also features primaries in Illinois, Missouri, and North Carolina. All 3 states carry a solid number of delegates and will have an impact on the Republican race for the nomination. The voting results in these 3 states have 3 key potential implications:

  1. Trump will certify his breaking from the pack if he can claim another sweeping victory tonight. If Trump goes HAM tonight and distances himself from Cruz, expect much more governmental and media Establishment figures freaking out about Trump “on steroids” the rest of the week. Bloomberg, anyone? 
  2. If Cruz can snag 2 states, things should get VERRRYYYY INTERESTING going forward. Cruz is within 100 delegates of Cruz going into tonight and seems to be the only other candidate that has a strong and faithful following. Unfortunately for all of the governmental and media elite, everyone hates Cruz’s fucking guts.
  3. If Kasich manages to win Ohio, and have a decent showing in the other states, the Republican Establishment will start to rethink whether or not Kasich might be the best choice to push for the nomination if/when we reach a Brokered Convention


Alright, enough with my thoughts. Here’s the current GOP delegate count and the delegates that are on the line tonight (358 in total):

  1. Florida: 99 Delegates
  2. Illinois: 69 Delegates
  3. Missouri: 52 Delegates
  4. North Carolina 72 Delegates
  5. Ohio: 66 Delegates

GOP Delegate Count.png


3 thoughts on “March 15th Primary-Palooza: GOP Edition

  1. Pingback: What’s At Stake For the Dems Tonight, Holmes? | NO FILTER NETWORK

  2. Pingback: March 15th Primary-Palooza Results: GOP | NO FILTER NETWORK

  3. Pingback: ICYMI: Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton “Ran Train” In The Amtrak Primaries | NO FILTER NETWORK

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