Reckless Speculation: Porzingis Got Shitfaced in LA Last Night

The New York Knicks announced VERY last-minute that rookie sensation Kristaps Porzingis would not play against the LA Lakers tonight. The reason, “stomach illness”Porzingis

I don’t know about you, but I have a sneaking suspicion that ‘Staps P isn’t exactly struggling with a stomach bug. Much more likely, Porzingis is nursing a severe fucking hangover. This is one of the first if not the first time Porzingis was in LA for a Saturday night. KP definitely hit the town hardbody and brought the fucking ruckus. Unfortunately for KP, sunglasses and Advil don‘t always do the trick. 

Porzingis isn’t to blame though either. It happens to the best of em. Hell, the Golden State Warriors got blown the fuck out last Sunday against the Lakers after they presumably got shitfaced hitting the town Saturday night. 

But forreal, “Stomach Illness” is one of the most malarkey injuries that professional sports teams give as as a reason for guys missing a game. Let’s be real, Porzingis went a bit too HAM last night and didn’t want to risk yacking all over the Staples Center on live TV. 



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