Dude Gets Acquitted For Killing Other Dude For “Small Penis Joke”

You read that title correctly, folks. Let me break this down for you quickly to ensure you understand what you’re reading:

  1. There was this one dude.
  2. There was this other dude.
  3. This other dude told this one dude that he had a small penis. 
  4. This one dude killed this other dude. 

 

But wait, the plot thickens…. You may be asking, why would this other dude be telling this one dude that he has a small penis? And why would this one dude kill this other dude? Well…..

Jeffrey David Szanto

 

According to Abc.net: 

“The jury heard that Mr Green was stabbed in the heart after getting angry that he had lost a pouch containing methamphetamines and cannabis.

The two agreed to retrace their route to find the drugs and ended up at the Ridleyton units.

The court heard Mr Green was searching the driveway in an increasingly agitated way when Szanto told him he should not get angry at him for misplacing his own things.

Szanto told the court that Mr Green became more agitated and took off his clothes to prove that he did not have the drugs.

Szanto said he then stripped off too.

He told the court that he said to Mr Green that he did not have the drugs.

“I don’t rip off mates, I’m old school,” Szanto said.

“I stood up, faced towards the road and I pulled down my pants and underwear”.

Szanto said at that point, he made what he said was a joke about the size of Mr Green’s penis.

“I said ‘I’m using the cold weather, what’s your excuse?'”

Szanto told police that Mr Green had a pocket knife and had approached him and that the killing was in defense:

“I was near his face. I said to him ‘Do you want to stab me?’ and then ‘Shaun, snap out of it’.

“Well I just did what most people would do, I just grabbed both of his hands … alarm bells were going.

“I thought I was gone. Someone’s coming at you with a knife, I just thought I was f***ed.

“I was scared s***less, to tell you the truth.”

Szanto told the court he found a pair of black-handled scissors in his car and that eventually he decided to try protect himself by stabbing Mr Green in the arm.”

 

That, folks, is a small sample size of your fellow Americans. 

 

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.

 

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