Here are some fun prop bets we found for you and ya boys that’ll be getting shitfaced tonight and tuning into the 2016 Celebrity Circle-Jerk Ceremony (The Oscar).
Feel free to shake-up the odds with your boys if you want to throw some money down:
- Over/Under 7.5 different acceptance speeches are cut short as The Academy tries to get them off the stage with their not-so-subtle elevator music. (24 acceptance speeches will occur): I’m going with the OVER.
- Over/Under 4.5 presenters having significant problems opening the envelopes that hold the results: Tough call… I’m going with UNDER.
- Over/Under 3.5 winners having their names butchered during a presenter’s pronunciation: I’m going with Under (although Iñárritu is a guaranteed misstep).
- Does Leonardo Dicaprio butcher his speech by spending a majority of his speech talking about the plight of Native Americans (as Leo has balled out on private jets while fucking supermodels around the world for 2+ decades): I’m going with MAJORITY.
- Over/Under 2.5 different black people that Sylvester Stallone mentions during his acceptance speech. This obviously means he has to mention more than just Creed’s director and leading star Michael B Jordan, who he failed to mention during the Golden Globes: I’m going with OVER.
- Over/Under 5.5 different times a celebrity is shown absolutely disgusted by something Chris Rock has said during his opening monologue: GOD PLEASE LET THIS BE OVER.
- What specific celebrity will be the target of his first earth-scorching monologue (I’m going with a white person).
- Online you can bet at 476:1 odds, that the Leonardo Dicaprio will announce his candidacy for president at the ceremony: We are going with NO SHOT SON.
- Over/Under 2.5 different Donald Trump jokes made by Chris Rock during his opening monologue: I’m going with OVER.
- Who will be the final celebrity shown during the “In Memory” segment: I’m going with DAVID BOWIE (close runners up: Abe Vigoda, Christopher Lee, Alan Rickman, Wes Craven, Leonard Nimoy, Robert Loggia).
Regardless of what you do with these prop bets, do yourself a favor and get absolutely shitfaced for this Celebrity Circle Jerk.